Creating a Circle

As I joined an estimated billion people to watch the Michael Jackson memorial service on television last week, I was reminded of the power of coming together as a group.

All the drama surrounding his relatively short life aside, people came to L.A.’s Staples Center to say “goodbye,” to the King of Pop, and others to simply say “thank you,” but it is likely that everyone present and watching was there to honor his talent and cement a memory. And with all that talent assembled under one roof, it was an undeniable success — there is comfort and strength in a group, and energy far more potent than an individual could muster.

In our every day lives filled with work to satisfy external needs ( housekeeping, grocery shopping, child rearing, television time and never enough sleep) we often forget to tap into the support of a like-minded group to nurture our “insides.”

It’s no secret that we’ ve become an isolated people. Oh, we have friends, but more often than not, thanks to cell phones, text messaging, e-mail and the Internet in general, we rarely meet face-to-face with anyone anymore — least of all those who are on the same spiritual or self-development path. Life has become so cluttered that there’s no time for the maintenance work, it seems — who has time for all that backburner “feel-good” stuff when there’s only a handful of free hours this weekend, right?

Well, you do. That is, if you’d like to see changes in your life. How many times have you set a goal quietly to yourself and forgotten it by morning? If you are like me, lots. But when a goal is declared to a supportive group, there’s nothing like leverage from the outside to keep you honest, that’s for sure.

I’ ve always been the type to lobby for change if I thought a situation was problematic or stale… “No use complaining if you can do something about it instead,” is the way I try to look at life. Positive energy, aimed directly and long enough, yields great results.

Several years ago, after a conversation with my friend Mary Beth about the women’s circles held at the spiritual center I was attending at the time, she suggested I read Jean Shinoda Bolen’s “The Millionth Circle: How to Change Ourselves and the World.” When I’m feeling a bit “useless” in life, or stuck in a rut, I turn to either volunteering or some sort of charitable effort like raising money for animal welfare groups. But this time I craved something entirely new.

The idea of a circle appealed to me greatly: learning from wiser women, cocooning with new friends, challenging my own beliefs, and being supportive of another’s goals. Best of all, I wanted to renew my faith in the human ability to create, and wanted to feel the thrill and magic of seeing imagined dreams come true.

I chose several spiritually like-minded and positive friends, and invited them to start a circle. Three replied, and a couple weeks later we held our first circle at my house.

The rules were simple: Everyone had to start by reading Bolen’s book, so we are all “on the same page;” I would get the circle started and coordinate the dates, times, and locations for meetings, but we all had an equal say and level of contribution to the meetings, which usually lasted about 1.5 hours, every other Sunday. We kept in touch on topics via e-mail and opened the circles by each choosing a random word/page for ourselves from “Words of Wisdom for Women,” by Rachel Snyder and reading it aloud. Each of us took turns hosting and choosing a main topic to share and everyone brought something to snack on for the group.

We read from “If at First…How Great People Turned Setbacks into Great Success,” by Laura Fitzgerald, talked about Edwene Gaines’ prosperity work, made vision boards/treasure maps, read inspirational quotes, listened to taped lectures from Caroline Myss, Wayne Dyer and Marianne Williamson, and did a group meditation. It was an excellent way to super-charge goals, gain encouragement, and tap into the power of the group, who often believed in me more than I believed in myself.

We went on for less than a year, but during that time, I witnessed two wished-for relationships blossom, and a new hobby/business rise up from the ashes of Mary Beth’s imagination.

I had the least amount of tangible results out of anyone, but the satisfaction it brought me was immeasurable, and success therein was my reward.

“In helping others, we shall help ourselves, for whatever good we give out completes the circle and comes back to us.”
~ Flora Edwards


For more information on group work, such as a circle:

http://www.amazon.com/Millionth-Circle-Ourselves-World-Essential/dp/1573241768

http://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/films/vvcfeatures.php?id=15945

http://stanford.wellsphere.com/stress-relief-article/starting-a-spiritual-circle/3908

http://www.essortment.com/all/womenscircles_rvzl.htm